I hate this song
by Iliketoomuchtohaveapropername
Summary: Jade writes a song she hates. For someone gone a long time ago.


Another soft sigh escaped her mouth as Jade watched Beck and Tori flirt through her glassy eyes. She sat hunched over with her hand propping up her face. She watched as Tori grinned at Beck and he ran a hand through his hair, signature nervous flirty Beck move. He gave Tori a lopsided smile back as he always did and pulled her in for a hug. They were only acting, at least that's what Sikowitz had told them to do, but Jade could see it was real. She could see the emotion in Becks face, the way he looked at Tori with admiration. A look he had not given her in a long time. The only looks she got were of frustration and sadness. So she let Beck let her go. Interrupting her thoughts the bell rang into the classroom and all students stood to exit, Sikowitz held no one back.

Outside in the Asphalt café Jade scanned for red hair, she always sat with Cat and Cat always sat with the others. She spotted her and strolled over to the table. She plopped down next to Cat who grinned at her but carried on blabbering to Robbie about her brother. With a roll of her eyes Jade picked up her fork and stabbed holes in her salad. After a moment she heard girly laughter and her eyes flicked up to focus on the faces of Beck and Tori once again. She stared for a few seconds before returning to her salad. Tori sat down and Beck happened to take the only space left next to Jade. He glanced at her briefly, trying to read her face, but she remained silent and showed no expression. He quickly gave up and picked up his burger. As lunch passed Jade became increasingly bored with the conversation, until Beck spoke up. He spoke to Tori. 'I like you, a lot.' He said. Jade stared intently at the side of his face as he spoke, not believing what she'd heard. She'd known it was more than acting, but to actually hear that made it click in her head. Beck loved Tori. He always had, ever since he'd seen her face. Her hand dropped the plastic fork and instead took hold of her bag strap. She stood and marched away, leaving the table staring after her.

At the end of the day Jade arrived home. Nobody was in so she went up to her room and flicked the light switch. Nothing. Sighing Jade lit 10 candles around her room, providing enough light to see. She also did not fail to spot the connection between ten candles to see around and ten seconds for Beck to see he loved Tori. She sat on the floor in the corner and drew her knees up to her chest. Letting her head flop onto her knees, Jade allowed herself to cry.

Half an hour passed and Jade pulled herself together. She got a pen and paper and started writing. Song writing, as she always did. As she wrote, Jades eyes glassed over again. She's never been right since Tori got here. She could feel Beck slipping away right from the start. Her vision got blurry and tears dripped down onto the paper, smudging some of the words. Jade knew what they said; she knew it off by heart because that was where it had come from. The words she was writing came from deep inside her; she'd always know them.

The next day was Friday and Jade was going to perform. The stage above the café was clear except for Jade, a microphone and stool. Everyone below her continued to talk as Jade began her song. She didn't care; she didn't want anyone to listen to her vulnerability. Keeping her eyes shut and her voice soft Jade sang:

_Speak with your tongue tied,  
I know that you're tired  
But I just want to know,  
Where you want to go,  
I may be sad, but I'm not weak,  
This situation is bleak  
And your puffy eyes never lie,  
Your tears come from inside._

_Until Sunday Ill be waiting for an answer_  
_I guess that yesterdays not good enough for you,_  
_You know that I hate this song,_  
_You know that I hate this song_  
_Because it was written for you_

It was true. Jade hated this song. But she loved it too. Because it was about him.

_Drown your fears with me_  
_I'm feeling real sorry_  
_Your glossy eyes don't need_  
_The sadness they have seen_  
_But you're way too deep to swim_  
_Back up again_  
_But somehow I cant find_  
_The moment you said goodbye_

Jade hadn't wanted to say goodbye but she didn't know what else to do. So she gave him a choice. And he took it.

_Until Sunday I'll be waiting for an answer_  
_I guess that yesterdays not good enough for you,_  
_You know that I hate this song,_  
_You know that I hate this song_  
_Because it was written for you_

_This is becoming a problem I'm hurting its unfair_  
_But somehow your words,_  
_The way that I heard are haunting me,_  
_You're under my skin_  
_You're breaking in,_  
_And the tasteless fights that filled our nights_  
_Are starting to cave in,_  
_You're under my skin_  
_You're breaking in_  
_And if Sundays what it takes to prove_  
_I have nothing else to loose_

She didn't know what else to do. Being an actress she kept her feelings hidden, but Beck would stay a part of her forever.

_Until Sunday Ill be waiting for an answer  
I guess that yesterdays not good enough for you,  
You know that I hate this song,  
You know that I hate this song  
Because it was written for you_

A tear slipped from under her eyelid and Jade felt a hand wipe it away. Her eyes snapped open and met deep chocolate ones right in front of her. Beck. Her mouth dropped open a little but Beck held up a hand. The hand on her cheek moved down to under Jades chin and he moved her head gently towards his. Naturally Jades eyes closed softly again. Becks lips brushed hers for just a second, but it was enough to make Jade feel like crying all over again. Tears of happiness or sadness or regret she didn't know. And then Beck was gone. He'd never really been there. Not for seven months. Because after their break up at Tori's, Beck died in a car crash.


End file.
